If you could

Euterpe13 · Post by **Euterpe13** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:58 pm

I totally lost all my childhood friends ante-CH : we moved from Devon to Surrey during my first term, which meant that I lost all contact with primary friends, and was a total outsider to the new neighbourhood - did wonders for my reading, though !

I've been a tad antisocial eversince...

eloisec · Post by **eloisec** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:22 pm

I'd go back but only from the UF onwards.

I wasn't really ready for boarding and had too many issues going on (unrelated to CH) to do well before then. nobody bothered to notice I needed help and so I just floundered along. thank goodness for a change in houseparents and the moving on of certain people on senior years to university and beyond.

having said that I enjoyed UF onwards and would change very little from that. CH gave me opportunities I wouldn't have had if I'd gone to my local comp (Steyning Grammar), and I'll always be very grateful for that. it wasn't all great though, and I've not acquired the rose tinted glasses yet.

Alice83 · Post by **Alice83** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 1:07 am

CH is a bizarre place. I think I would go back if it was the way it was before I left. It all seems to have changed now and become so politically correct. I had a horrible first 3 years at CH but after moving boarding house on my UF it got a lot better and I loved it. However nowadays there is not the respect for your elders and such that we used to have to give. If someone shouted 'Squit' in the downstairs corridor, the last squit to get there had to do the job but they always got given a piece of toast if they did the job well! There's no way that that would happen nowadays! Privelages have been taken away from seniors and Grecians in particular like the wearing of civvies etc. I don't think it benefits people in the long run. I had the piss taken out of me at school for having the wrong trainers on my juniors - if they had the opportunity to see the rest of my wardrobe I would have been ripped to shreds! I loved my uniform back then!!
So anyways... am waffling away here.... I would go back if it was back then but not if it's the way it is now. I don't think I would send my kids there - not that I'm planning any soon anyway!

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 2:25 am

icomefromalanddownunder wrote:
englishangel wrote:Never, never, never, well not to Hertford anyway.

Like Sean I wouldn't mind giving a co-ed Horsham a go.

Hi Mary

Your post really surprised me, as I haven't read any posts from you knocking the place, and I had the feeling that you were happy there.

Apologies for my lack of empathy.

Don't worry about it. I had serious attacks of 'Don't want to go back-itis' at the end of every holidays, particularly for my second year and then again for sixth form, but once back I got on with it though the restrictions in Sixth form really rankled as I was a mature person. I certainly lived by the 11th commandment then, greatly helped by my previous good behaviour which meant I was never eyed with suspicion.

icomefromalanddownunder · Sat Oct 28, 2006 5:39 am

Alice83 wrote:CH is a bizarre place. I think I would go back if it was the way it was before I left. It all seems to have changed now and become so politically correct. I had a horrible first 3 years at CH but after moving boarding house on my UF it got a lot better and I loved it. However nowadays there is not the respect for your elders and such that we used to have to give. If someone shouted 'Squit' in the downstairs corridor, the last squit to get there had to do the job but they always got given a piece of toast if they did the job well! There's no way that that would happen nowadays!

No offence intended Alice, but I, for one, say 'thank goodness'. I treat the animals in my care with more respect than that.

My opinion, for what it is worth, is that this kind of treatment of others is part of a divide and conquer mentality. It has a negative effect on everyon's self esteem, and does nothing to develop a healthy and productive society.

Hmmmm, back into my box, me thinks.

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 5:28 pm

You know, I spent 5 years wondering around CH trying to find out just what it was that made public schools so alien and so inneed of hatred and distrust by the masses. Everyone I knew in North London dumped me when I went to the school. I never understood why, I don't remember growing a set of horns. I never did find out why they hated us so much. When I asked them why, they became incoherent and totally unable to finish a sentence. In the end I gained real friendships and discovered that my home "friends" were not true friends at all. The only friends I had before CH that kept in touch were from Streatham and Nottinghill and Brixton. :soapbox:

cj · Post by cj » Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:57 pm

People assume that private schools and boarding schools are posh and that if you choose to go there ergo you are posh too. It's also the fact of being different. There is a commonality and a tribe mentality within any group, so when that is broken there is a feeling of distrust and sometimes betrayal. And so when you've gone, unless you have a really strong friendship that can survive months of separation, there's little in common to keep you together. You grow apart. It happens after you leave CH too, if your best mates are miles away at university or working, and other things/people take over in your life. It doesn't matter - friends can come and go in life according to yours and their needs. It doesn't mean that they weren't important at the time.

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:41 am

Everyone changes schools at 11 and may lose touch with their old primary school friends. The best friends of both my twins are no longer friends, even though they went to the same (quite small) senior school.

Strangely my son's best friend was a year older and the friendship survived the older boy's move to senior school but then when my son went there the friendship broke up. Not in a nasty way, just that they both found new friends.

My closest friend from home used to take me out clubbing even when she went with a boyfriend, for which I was eternally grateful.

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 11:21 am

Come on Mary lets go back together and cause some chaos!

loringa · Post by **loringa** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:25 am

Alice83 wrote:However nowadays there is not the respect for your elders and such that we used to have to give. If someone shouted 'Squit' in the downstairs corridor, the last squit to get there had to do the job but they always got given a piece of toast if they did the job well!

This doesn't sound like 'respect' more like fear. Why on earth should a squit do any menial jobs for you? There is certainly no way this would have happened in the 'bad old days' of the 1970's and I think this return to fagging, which is clearly what it is, is about as retrrograde a step as it is possible to imagine and I am delighted it appears to have been stopped. Perhaps someone on the current staff could supply the definitive word on whether fagging is tolerated now. I'd like to know before I start looking at the future schooling options for my daughter.

Great Plum · Post by **Great Plum** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:57 am

loringa wrote:
Alice83 wrote:However nowadays there is not the respect for your elders and such that we used to have to give. If someone shouted 'Squit' in the downstairs corridor, the last squit to get there had to do the job but they always got given a piece of toast if they did the job well!
This doesn't sound like 'respect' more like fear. Why on earth should a squit do any menial jobs for you? There is certainly no way this would have happened in the 'bad old days' of the 1970's and I think this return to fagging, which is clearly what it is, is about as retrrograde a step as it is possible to imagine and I am delighted it appears to have been stopped. Perhaps someone on the current staff could supply the definitive word on whether fagging is tolerated now. I'd like to know before I start looking at the future schooling options for my daughter.

I can tell you that it certainly doesn't happen anymore.

I think when I was on my juniors that 'fagging' was more prevalent in the girls' houses.

eloisec · Post by **eloisec** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:02 am

girls were good at the mental/verbal 'bullying' (probably a little too strong a word for it, but you get the gist), although it had practically gone by the time I left. thank goodness!

trying to get respect from making younger pupils do tasks for you or by asserting your supposed authority just for being older is pathetic, and I wish some of the girls senior to me when I joined CH had realised that. you earn respect for how you act, not by offering a slice of toast as a reward.

Great Plum · Post by **Great Plum** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:10 am

I think Col A was relatively liberal. I know when Sister was in LHB from 1994, it was still happening and in Barnes as well I think...

eloisec · Post by **eloisec** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:11 am

I agree. A huge part of that was due to the way the Flemings ran the house. It certainly wasn't like that under the Endacotts.

blondie95 · Post by **blondie95** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 1:16 pm

whe i started in deps in 2000 i was year below Alice, in BaB there was none of that going on particularly, a couple of girls on my year where quite intimerdting even to me even though same age and I think they without realising may have done so mainlky bceasue juniors were scared. But it was particularly bad in boys houses at the time as they had not long gone to all year in each side!