Housemistresses

[Mid A 15]

I don't remember Mrs. Weisz (however you spell it!) but in my day Miss Miles ruled as Queen in 1's - and even with hindsight I would say that she was a pretty nasty bit of work. I have recently come across a contemporary who, in 1's, was confined to the Maid's Room for a whole term, except for Chapel and lessons. This is in the 1960's. She still does not know what she did wrong... but all her meals were delivered on a tray and she was not allowed to communicate with anyone. .

Oh my, oh my, oh my.

At the risk of offending any single, childless members of the forum: has anyone else noticed the correlation between the members of staff addressed as 'Miss' and the, to us, inappropriate treatment we received?

How many of the houses at Horsham were overseen by single women or men? I'm betting that none of them were.

From what I remember the majority of housemasters were single when I started at CH Horsham.

I hasten to add that I'm not for one moment suggesting that they treated boys as badly as described above.

It sounds absolutely appalling!

ps Caroline, have a word with Ponting and tell him to ease up a bit

[Katharine]

One thing not clear from Kerren's post, is that for most of the time we wre there 1s & 5s were Junior Houses, so the fearsome Miss Miles was in charge of the little ones when they first arrived.

I have no recollection of the incident Kerren described, but she was in the adjacent house, I was the other side of the square.

[Angela Woodford]

but in my day Miss Miles ruled as Queen in 1's I learned later (recently) that a number of academic staff had petitioned DRW to sort out the problem, but that she had declined to do so in the belief that the Housemistress had a better idea of the problem with a pupil than she did....

I thought so , Kerren. A while ago, I posted "Was Millie Sacked?" I was convinced that her sudden unacknowledged departure when the junior Houses were disbanded was because her treatment of pupils was way, way out of order.

I remember that the Sylvester twins stood up to Millie in rather magnificent defiance, and as a culmination of weeks of trouble, Helen Sylvester was heard by Millie to have said "bl**dy". Millie grasped Helen, and dragged her upstairs to Lower Dorm bathroom to wash her mouth out with carbolic soap and water. Helen was a strong fit furious eleven-year-old and fought every step of the way, but Millie was stronger. We stood at the foot of the stairs as a violent fight took place.

I recorded in a letter home (my mother kept all of them) that Millie had banged Sabina Stewart's head against a wall until her nose bled. I've written in awe that Sabina recovered herself, stood back upright and remarked "How dare you Miss Miles?"What composure. I admired it very much.

(Moderator, remove these names if you think appropriate!)

I did however enjoy Millie's tendency to send me out to the kitchen during tea to eat in isolation. There was an ancient comfortable lowslung chair next to the warm blackleaded range. I'd always have a book stashed away out there and spend a splendid 20 minutes in privacy.

It was during my year in 1s with Millie that I became a sleepwalker. Once away from her, I stopped.

My letters are full of Millie's bullying ways. Did my parents complain? Of course not! They believed it would make things worse for us.

Munch

[englishangel]

Millie was still there when I started in 1965 the first year all houses were all through.

[kerrensimmonds]

The incident to which I referred happened when Miss Miles was in charge of a 'full' house - it was no longer a junior house. I can't remember the year we were in but I think it must have been between the UV and UVI - so the victim would have been 15-18 at the time.

[Liz Jay]

Hi Munch

Thanks for the graphic descriptions, I didn't realise so much physical bullying had gone on at Hertford, though I do remember manual labour being meted out as punishment. My memories are more of sarcasm, belittlement and generally treating most of us, juniors especially, as if we were budding criminals needing licking into shape - a sort of a Borstal feel about the place.
I did always feel at an intuitive level a sort of darkness about CH with little relief from the psychic pressure. Maybe at end of term, weekends, and special days there was a lightening of mood generally but most times we had to provide our own light relief (and we did!!!).
In later years I've dabbled in teaching, including quite a lot of dog training, running obedience classes for several years. It soon became clear to me that the dogs (and their handlers) stop learning/understanding what they are doing when their stress level reaches a certain point, consequently part of the tutor's role is to watch for signs of stress such as blushing, sweating, wobbly voices and hands from the handlers - and excessive panting, trembling, red eyes and salivation from the dogs. At this point we all need to take a break; to continue the pressure means the partnership is learning under duress, and the lesson won't stay with the pupils in the same way.
And how I identify with those stressed individuals!! As a fairly nervous twitchy child a black look could send me all a-flutter and to be on the receiving end of a tongue-lashing would send me into a heart-thumping ear-buzzing flight-or-fight mode for several hours.
I thank my lucky stars I was never at the mercy of Miss Miles, it sounds as if our chain-smoking fruitcake Miss Scott-Haughton was relatively harmless!

Love

[J.R.]

We in 2's had Mrs Winstone (Fanny behind her back) and of course the parents called her Mrs Flinststone, one father even calling her that to her face. She was small but fearsome, although apparently not as bad as Miss Miles (who I do remember as a hatchet faced woman (?), and she lived in a fog of smoke too, can you imagine it in this day and age?

Errm ! Was she American then, Mary, or just mis-shapen.

(Ajolopies for adding a touch of humour to this otherwise very serious thread. It's just the mood I'm in today !)

[Vonny]

It's just the mood I'm in today !

The same mood as every day then!

[Vonny]

I remember Lemon well, ..... She left on her 3rd/LE year and never enjoyed the delights of the merger.

I got on well with her and used to come over to 1's after prep to watch Corrie with her!
I can't remember if she left at the end of the 3rd or 4th year actually.

[englishangel]

We in 2's had Mrs Winstone (Fanny behind her back) and of course the parents called her Mrs Flinststone, one father even calling her that to her face. She was small but fearsome, although apparently not as bad as Miss Miles (who I do remember as a hatchet faced woman (?), and she lived in a fog of smoke too, can you imagine it in this day and age?

Errm ! Was she American then, Mary, or just mis-shapen.

(Ajolopies for adding a touch of humour to this otherwise very serious thread. It's just the mood I'm in today !)

Ha, ha. Not sure why we called her that, perhaps Kerren does.

[Angela Woodford]

As a fairly nervous twitchy child a black look could send me all a-flutter and to be on the receiving end of a tongue-lashing would send me into a heart-thumping ear-buzzing flight-or-fight mode for several hours.
I thank my lucky stars I was never at the mercy of Miss Miles

It was not good to be in the "care" of Millie, Liz. On my first Long Sat, my mother cried to see my hair cropped off, my dishevelled and threadbare state and my hands stained with Bluebell. This might sound as if I'm exaggerating - sorry! - but I'd been a Nice Cared-For Little Girl.

One consequence of these days is that I can never bear to be late. I arrive early for appointments and even earlier for interviews! I'm truly alarmed if there's any prospect of being late for anything. Other people take delays and hold-ups in their stride - I'm having a panic!

Reading the Memoirs. Hmm, given a lot to think about.

Munch

[Liz Jay]

Hi Munch

I've never truly mastered timekeeping! I can be early, late, and everything in-between but WHATEVER I will be feeling massively GUILTY.

I have a hugely overactive conscience for which I don't just blame CH but also the parenting I received. My father used to blame me/us (I have three sisters) for a lot of things none of which could remotely have been my/our fault certainly not intentionally.

At CH I was quite often in trouble for breaking some rule or other (written or unwritten) usually just by being naive and gormless, and authority figures came down on me hard sometimes when I was least expecting it!!!
Consequently I continue to be very wary of accidentally overstepping some mark and incurring the Wrath of the Gods.....policemen, bank managers, fierce old ladies and the merest Jobsworth all reduce me to a humble jelly.

I am desperately law-abiding these days not even liking to cross roads unless the green light is flashing. I worry about my lack of spirit sometimes!!! !!

Love

[icomefromalanddownunder]

From what I remember the majority of housemasters were single when I started at CH Horsham.

I hasten to add that I'm not for one moment suggesting that they treated boys as badly as described above.

It sounds absolutely appalling!

ps Caroline, have a word with Ponting and tell him to ease up a bit

Interesting re the Housemasters. I envisaged you living in a relatively caring environment with the Housemaster's wife providing homeliness and TLC.

As for the cricket - yawn

One of my friends had to pick up her daughter from the Adelaide Cricket Ground just as The Barmy Army were exiting for the day. While attempting to nudge her aging Holden through the crowd without bruising any bodies, one of the charming visitors to this fair land yelled 'F*#(ing Aussie' at her. Without turning a hair, she wound down her window, and yelled back 'Bo**ocks' in a fair imitation of my accent. Caused great amusement, and cleared a passage for her through the car park .

[icomefromalanddownunder]

My letters are full of Millie's bullying ways. Did my parents complain? Of course not! They believed it would make things worse for us.

Munch

Hi Everyone

What a web we were caught up in. I wonder what would have happened if our parents had confronted the staff - would the staff have 'owned up' to their behaviour and justified it?

I would elevate Millie from bully to sadist.

Oh, aaarrgggggggghhhhhhh, I keep typing and deleting - I need to go for a walk and try to deal with this before writing any more.

[Angela Woodford]

What a web we were caught up in. I wonder what would have happened if our parents had confronted the staff - would the staff have 'owned up' to their behaviour and justified it?

I would elevate Millie from bully to sadist.

Yeah... Caroline, you're right. I keep thinking of that poor girl confined to the Maid's Room. No wonder she's still traumatised. What cruelty. And DR never intervened!!!!

"Half To Remember" - received yesterday, thank you Liz! - has me a bit baffled. DR helped a lot of girls financially, took them out, intervened in their family crises, realised that there was Romance in a few lives "suffering from love affairs" and appears almost kindly by her own account. It just makes me wonder.... why didn't she react to some of the serious problems I remember? I don't remember anything but blunt and brutally frank treatment from her. Perhaps it would have been different if my parents had intervened more.

I do love "there will always be some girls who will be more boy-mad than others.... This may be because of some glandular deficiency, and such girls are not easy to help. One of the V1 form...was given the pill to quieten her down while she was taking her A level examinations". Well done that girl! Perhaps thoughts of contraception had never occured to DR?

Liz - although I have a puntuality obsession, I have remained bad in many ways. Family have hauled me back from stepping over red cords in historic houses, going through doors marked "Private" and ignoring "Please Keep Off the Grass". You are obviously a well-behaved member of society.

Time to put my boots on.

Love to all

Munch