Silliest question you have been asked.

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:19 pm

My son has this on one of the forums he is on and I thought it a good topic for us.

One on his forum was

Pretty young woman: "Do you mind if I get changed in here?"

21 year old guy: "er No."

Mine.

In the Students Union aged 19 or so, back to the door, short hair and black polo neck. Local cops come in looking for likely lads to be in a line-up at the cop-shop across the road.

Tap on the shoulder " What about you son, would you like Â£5.00 for half-an-hour? (this was 1973)

Me: turning round and displaying endowments. "Yes please"

Red-faced cop: "Oops, sorry miss".

Howls of laughter from all my (male) mates.

Mrs C. · Post by **Mrs C.** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:51 pm

" I`d like just a 2p sweet please. How much will is that ?"

(true, and not all that long ago either!!)

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:52 pm

On being served a roast dinner in a pub carvery.....

"Would you like a knife and fork for that ?"

Katharine · Post by **Katharine** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:31 pm

We have a collection at the Railway and each year we seem to get more beauties. Just a couple today:

"If I go, can I come back?"

In the pouring rain, "Do we have to go outside to get on the train?", this was said to me in a cafe half way up the line, no tracks through that building.

One, not from the railway, as we waited for our meal in a restaurant, harrassed looking waitress to us, "Are you the trout in the corner?"

jhopgood · Post by **jhopgood** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:51 pm

My son was born in El Salvador where we got him his British passport. We left when he was 6 weeks old and the passport officer almost refused to let him go, asking:

"Where is the entry visa?"

sejintenej · Post by **sejintenej** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:43 pm

jhopgood wrote:My son was born in El Salvador where we got him his British passport. We left when he was 6 weeks old and the passport officer almost refused to let him go, asking:

"Where is the entry visa?"

You think that is stupid? Try reading

http://uk.reuters.com/article/topNews/i ... geNumber=1

Enough to make a grown man cry!

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:13 pm

sejintenej wrote:
jhopgood wrote:My son was born in El Salvador where we got him his British passport. We left when he was 6 weeks old and the passport officer almost refused to let him go, asking:

"Where is the entry visa?"
You think that is stupid? Try reading

http://uk.reuters.com/article/topNews/i ... geNumber=1

Enough to make a grown man cry!

I saw that on the BBC website. pathetic

Post by **jtaylor** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:41 pm

"Is that Island above or below sea-level" asked on a tour of the med.

J

Katharine · Post by **Katharine** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:57 pm

John's story of El Salvadorean bureaucracy reminds me of an instance in Brunei. Our friend, Pete, was teaching and his contract was such that he should work three years and then have a long home leave. To ensure he was paid during the leave he had to send in a 'Life Certificate' each month to say he was still alive. This had to be countersigned by a notary public or some such.

One year Pete returned to work on 15th September, at the end of the month he was only paid for two weeks not the full month. When he complained, the school bursar said 'I don't have your Life Certificate for the first half of the month'. There was no budging him.

Pete called in at the Yacht Club on his way home, this was before Brunei went dry. As he bemoaned his lot, his friends looked around and saw a bottle of Courvoisier behind the bar. When they studied the cork they realised that it could be used to create quite an impressive stamp. Thus a Life Certificate was improvised and Pete got paid.

marty · Post by **marty** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:22 pm

A few years back my mobile phone rang. I answered it clearly with "Hello."

The woman on the other end said, "Hello - mum?"

I replied, "No, clearly I'm not your mum."

Rather than realising she'd rang a wrong number she then tried reading out the number she was trying to reach:

"Oh. Isn't that 0-7-9-8...."

I stopped her mid-sentence and said, "No, it's no point you reading out the number because I AM NOT YOUR MUM."

"Oh, sorry," she said. Then she hung up.

How stupid can people be?

matthew · Post by **matthew** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:54 pm

Outside King's College Chapel, Cambridge: "Excuse me, could you show me the way to King's College Chapel?"

Some of the stupidest human beings do seem to work as telemarketers, though. There must be something about those headsets. (If you're reading this and you're a telemarketer, I'm sure you're the exception.)

Bell Canada called a while back trying to sell me their phone service. The fact that I'd just cancelled it didn't seem to deter them. So I asked why I should consider Bell when they're way more expensive than the competition. Bell are, sort of, Canada's BT.

"Bell owns the satellite and uses almost all of it. All the other companies have scratch around for what's left. So, as a Bell customer, you'll get priority."

That's so far from reality, I don't know where to start.

"It's true, you can check on the web site."

Oh, I can believe Bell's web site says almost anything, but that doesn't actually make it true.

"I'm a fourth-year marketing student and I know about companies. They're not allowed to lie."

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:09 am

my 18 year old daughter's favourite silly question, when she buys a Mr Whippy ice cream cone.

"Do you want chocolate sauce and a Flake on that?"

Reuben · Post by **Reuben** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 11:20 am

marty wrote:A few years back my mobile phone rang. I answered it clearly with "Hello."

The woman on the other end said, "Hello - mum?"

I replied, "No, clearly I'm not your mum."

Rather than realising she'd rang a wrong number she then tried reading out the number she was trying to reach:

"Oh. Isn't that 0-7-9-8...."

I stopped her mid-sentence and said, "No, it's no point you reading out the number because I AM NOT YOUR MUM."

"Oh, sorry," she said. Then she hung up.

How stupid can people be?

To be fair I can understand a wrong number wanting to find out if she'd (a) misdialed or (b) got the number wrong to start with...

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:53 pm

jhopgood wrote:My son was born in El Salvador where we got him his British passport. We left when he was 6 weeks old and the passport officer almost refused to let him go, asking:

"Where is the entry visa?"

His birth certificate surely, entry to the world.

jhopgood · Post by **jhopgood** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:45 pm

englishangel wrote:
jhopgood wrote:My son was born in El Salvador where we got him his British passport. We left when he was 6 weeks old and the passport officer almost refused to let him go, asking:

"Where is the entry visa?"
His birth certificate surely, entry to the world.

I actually told the official that he flew in with the stork, but it didn't go down well.