Weddings...

[Angela Woodford]

Strange instructions from the bride just now...

At 12.55 hrs on Friday, I have to be "collected" at the back of the Church by my son Henry, the Woodford-side-usher, "taken up the aisle" and "put into my seat".

Do they think that I'll wander off into the graveyard and get lost? Well, it is Hallowe'en. It's quite probable.

DR always said I lived in a world of my own.

[CHAZ]

I recommend putting on 4 Weddings and a Funeral on Thursday night just to get you into the mood, Angela.

Look out for any single ladies at the church and reception as we remember well that quotation from the film...

"Are you married then?"
"No" replies Kristen Scott Thomas
"Ah so you are a lesbian then..."

We look forward to some excellent wedding day anecdotes as this thread has been a real treat to follow...I guess afterwards we will have a year of Blondie's preparations to look forward to.

[Angela Woodford]

I was especially looking forward to meeting one of the groom's grandmothers.

She thinks that Susannah is Pocahontas. How lovely!

Sadly, she is now in a "care home". Alas!

[MKM]

DR always said I lived in a world of my own.

Would living in someone else's world have been better?

I hope everything goes perfectly at the wedding. May I suggest a dainty lace-edged handkerchief might be useful?

[Angela Woodford]

Thank you, Mary, very much!

The handkerchief - absolutely! I have one. I've been told that sniffing into a clump of moist Kleenex doesn't look so good. I'm going to take my little bottle of tear-stemming lemon essential oil too - recommended by Caroline.

(

DR always said I lived in a world of my own.

Would living in someone else's world have been better?

Hmm, suppose that DR was trying to suggest that I tried to live in the Hertford "world"... )

[midget]

Angela, your latest quote sounds just like Hertford (NOT).

[Angela Woodford]

Maggie! I adored this book when I was about 10, and have just read it again! How wonderful school life in America sounded - 1909! And, er, how I was disillusioned, age 11, in 1964!

Rain is lashing down. It can't rain tomorrow - it musn't rain tomorrow! I thought I was organised yesterday, and have just realised I'm not. Trekking North in a few hours - here goes! Wedding wedding wedding...

Little bow to be sewn into her hem for the something blue!

[gma]

Know it's a bit late but the weather's been really sunny even tho' it was cold over here in Berkshire so hope all went well today!

[englishangel]

I'll have what she's having...CLASSIC....

I guess from that day on, all men knew that women really do FAKE!!!

PS I think the lady who witnessed the scene was in fact Billy Crystal's Mum!

You are absolutely correct, Chaz.

Actually the mother of the Director, Rob Reiner, and she has just died.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7705906.stm

[CHAZ]

My daughter Susannah has been perusing myriad glossy brides' magazines lavished on her by her best friend Laura, now officially known as "Bridezilla".

I can hardly express how things are taking off in the planning dept. Will the walls of the "venue" co-ordinate with the colours of the bridesmaids' dresses? Susannah has reduced her choice of Dress down to four now. I have to go to Yorkshire soon for a mammoth trying-on session with Other Mother, Bridezilla and various other friends-and-rels.

I'll be expected to attempt the whole fabulous mother of the bride thing. There is not a hat in creation that has ever suited my face - oh bogger it - Other Mother has bagged wearing a "fascinator".

And the wedding's not till October 31! I've already had the broomstick, fangs and pointy hat jokes...

Practising being a lean mean mother-in-law machine -

Munch

So Angela, the NEWS THE NEWS. We await with abaited breath all the gossip etc!!

[MKM]

Yes, Munch. And THE PHOTOS. (please).

[midget]

Come on,Angela. Your public awaits!

[gma]

It's all gone horribly quiet over there - do you think the B & G took pity on Angela's exponetial stress levels and took her away with them?

Or maybe Mr Angela has done the decent thing and whisked her away somewhere restful?

[CHAZ]

Nearly a week now and still no news...Wonder wonder...

[Angela Woodford]

A text message from the newly-married woman! A terse reminder!

"According to your CH Forum they are waiting for news of wedding!"

This means that she has been reading this thread all along! So I can first highjack it to say "Thank you for being a wonderful daughter. Thank you for being truthful, tactful, responsible, strongminded and sympathetic. I haven't been much of an Alphamummy, but you've put up with me wonderfully well.From your first day at school when you put your hand into that of Mrs Gibson and never looked back, I vowed that if there were ever a DR, a Millie or a SWSNBN in your life I would do something fast, and I'm happy to say that you have grown up confident of your many abilities. You looked so beautiful on your wedding day - but then you always do. What style and glamour you possess! But it comes from within. Be happy in your married life.

Your loving and proud Mamma.

Right then! I wanted to say that in the flurry of the Bridal Suite, but what with the shampooing and blowdrying and luxurious hotel white dressing gowns, it was all too hectic... Imagine a sea of fluffy towels, Chanel foundation, blusher, sparkly things, shrieks of excitement and Sudden Remembrances? The photographer - a marvellously fun girl - was clicking away with action shots! There's a funny one in the pipeline of me covered in the tiny fragments of a Fringe Trim.... The M O G, already dressed, proved a soothing influence. How pretty she looked in her little pink feathery fascinator! The Dress hung in the window, pure pristine ivory silk, whilst the bridesmaids zipped into their silver dresses with fluffy white shrugs. Bouquets and buttonholes lay waiting in florist's boxes -an exquisite mix of flowers, but a soft violet calla lily predominated. I've a funny memory of the sudden tense silence as the bride sat on the loo (best light, best angle) for her sister to stroke on a perfect eyeliner... I had to rush off and do Henry's buttonhole and wrestle with his cufflinks, then ditto with F O B. Then doing up bridesmaids' necklaces and bracelets - in the middle of all this my sister arrived with the cake. Eventually I got myself ready in record time and placed the Hat on top... I'd had an optimistic vision of carefully dressing to look my best.... sitting on own loo to do flattering lashings of mascara... but it didn't quite work out that way. In fact, once dressed it was thought that I'd better be transported to the church ahead of time.

So I was there in the graveyard, not exactly wandering, but gratefully grabbing the Vicar for a kiss in appreciation of his skill at prayer which had obtained for us a blue-sky sunny day. The M O G and I did our best to meet-and-greet not-yet-met relations and identify friends arriving from a terrific ribbon and balloon festooned vintage bus which transported guests from Harrogate. Henry was uber-efficient, I must say, steering and rounding up guests - clever boy! The little church began to fill up and buzz with anticipatory murmurings and the odd shriek of excitement/recognition. The groom had shed an initial look of sheer panic and looked quietly confident.

Then the buzz began to rise a little in tone. A frisson of anxiety began to circulate! The minutes ticked along - then, the bridesmaids at last! I asked if I shouldn't be "put into my pew" already, but the vicar said no.. It seemed so, so long before the ribboned Bentley with Miss Susannah arrived and there was a flurry of activity in the church porch to arrange her dress, sparkly veil and train. Then I did get put into position, next to Grandpa. (I could hear him breathing heavily as he read through the (modern) Order of Service. Oh dear.)

Susannah came up the aisle on the arm of her father (best Sandhurst slow-march). It was an affecting moment. I know "radiant" is a terrible cliché but she looked so lovely - I clutched the lace-edged hanky in case, but was OK - and the service proceeded. There were readings from Shakespeare and the New Testament - the vicar delivered a sermon which was enjoyed. Really! A lovely man! I know that it's not only me who will remember that married love can be compared with a Chocolate Orange. We went up into the vestry for the signing of the register. Everyone seemed to be kissing everybody! Panic as I nearly wrong-footed in my high heels and trod on her train!

Then there was rose-petal confetti everywhere when we'd processed out of the church and peal after peal of church bells. Everybody milling about - who was giving whom a lift - how many new relations did I kiss? There seemed to be a lot of friends of the groom. Mwah! Mwah!

Back at Rudding Park there were trays of pink champagne in those pretty retro Babycham glasses, with delicious canapés. Purists will say that in those glasses the bubbles are lost more quickly, but - well - the glasses were drained very quickly! Conversation rose to a happy roar. The party was beginning to go well! The room for the wedding breakfast was beautifully decorated in violet, pink, cream and white - huge flower arrangements, calla lilies in fat round goldfish bowls on the tables and pillars swathed in sparkling white fairy lights. The meal was lovely - it wasn't too long before I'd table-hopped to locate terrific Cousin Monica, who none of us had met before. Fabulous, feisty, a known possessor of innumerable pairs of shoes; an inspiring 83 year old, who scandalised the Chief Bridesmaid by making a pass at her boyfriend... Speeches - my current husband had organised flash cards for himself! A splendid effort from the groom (sniff! the hanky nearly came out). There were two best men. One made a lovely speech. The other made a very rude speech! I sternly reproved him afterwards (I tend, like Kanga, to be Fiercer in the Winter Months) and was persuaded to drink a conciliatory gin-and-tonic later by his best friend. Hmmph!

Eventually, the band arrived and dancing began. This was rather wonderful, but by then my high heels were agony, and I ran up to our room to put on flat shoes after which I joined in the dancing throng much more happily. Hair was let down, inhibitions totally vanquished and everybody bopped, twirled and rock-and-rolled till the end of the happy day and on into the early hours!

My brother-in-law, aged 75, said the next day (awed voice) "I admired more cleavage yesterday than I've seen in my entire life so far..." Well!

I can't believe it's all over. What a marvellous day.