SPIDERS!!!

[lonelymom]

What a great suggestion - trading husbands! Going cheap, sixpennorth of Kenneth!!

Ok, here goes.

Have:

36 years, medium(ish) build, own hair and teeth, can do fencing/driveways/patios, can cook.

Would like:

age irrelevant (but within reason please), build and own hair not important but own teeth necessary, needs to be able to do MY fencing/driveway/patio instead of everyone elses!!! Must like cats

[Angela Woodford]

Never fear Lonelymum, neither do most of the guys who regularly hijack the threads there.

Dear JR: why bother moving the thread? The theme, or lack of, will continue as though no Moderator energy had been expended.

Just a couple of pre-first coffee of the day musings

xx

And here is my pre-first coffee of the day Completely Original Thought!

OK - here goes. We meet - we throw our car keys into a basket and draw a new set out at random! Which bloke will we draw? Anyone getting mine will have the washing up done after dinner every day, a decent cup of tea, bins emptied, recycling mastered, tidy and methodical, loves cats - but you'll have to cope with the railways enthusiasm...

I hope I'm not going to draw the keys to a flash new 4x4. I couldn't bear the shame.

[lonelymom]

Yours sounds quite good, Angela, but how does the 'railways enthusiasm' manifest itself? Will I have to supply a flask of tea and a notebook? Or just give up my loft space for a miniature railway circuit and supply polishing clothes?

No 4x4 here, in fact at the moment he doesn't even have a truck...

[Angela Woodford]

Up till 1 am most nights, making tiny 00 gage locomotives/trucks/buildings in the most incredible minute detail. I admit, they are exquisite. The station building (which is designed for an eventual Welsh Valley layout) even has a tiny fleck of bird poo on the roof. Constant reference to library of railway books. Day long trips to modellers shops to find locomotive buffer the size of a full-stop. Tuesdays - spent restoring real live old steam trains. Just constant preoccupation, really.

I've commiserated with Katharine in the past - her husband also is likely to accompany any romantic/thriller type film with critical interjections that the rail stock is inappropriate. "That B stock deschumfricator wasn't used by GWR until 1937!". That sort of thing.

Once made a kitchen spotlight from a golden syrup tin sprayed silver.

[lonelymom]

Oh Can I have a think about it please?

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

Alas ! -----Having managed to esablish myself as a Chauvinistic Pig --- which I ain't ! I shall now withdraw from this Thread Particularly since the subject of the suitability of Husbands has arisen.

Conceit impels me to say that, I cook well, I can sew and embroider, I can paint (In Oils, and Emulsion !) I grow Vegetables, Fruit and Roses (Which I wear as Buttonholes) I believe that I dress well --- I even own a "Curly Bowler !

In order to avert any suspicions which may arise : I was a Champion Boxer, 1st Class Rugby Player, 1stClass Water Polo Player, Soldier and Paratrooper, CAB Adviser and Elected Politician.
I received a Good Education ----- Wasted !

I am unavailable for exchange --- due to my present dalliance with that well-known Irish Girl --------

ANN O'DOMINI

[icomefromalanddownunder]

Conceit impels me to say that, I cook well, oops:

But, dear Neill, do you use every single utensil and pot in the kitchen every time you cook, and then refuse to wash up your mess? Oh, and when cooking something greasy, like a fried egg, do you transport egg to plate while still in frying pan, or do you lift egg onto slice while pan is still on cooktop, then transport egg to plate while dripping grease across kitchen floor?

AND do you insist on cooking because Mrs Neill (in your opinion) can't?

Which brings me back to why mother-in-laws, or mine at least, are a suitable inclusion to a thread about spiders. This alcoholic excuse for a mother would add bicarb to cabbage when boiling it, turning it to a fluorescent green slime, and her son then accused me of being too lazy to cook cabbage properly because I didn't add bicarb, and cooked it al dente.

In October he will marry a tattooednipplepiercedHarleyriding Texan from Arkansas, and I hope that they will be very happy, even though she is almost phenotypically identical to his recently deceased sister

Oh, should add that the tattoednipplepierced fiancé is female - other friends assumed, from my description, that she is a he. Which probably says more about the ex than it does my descriptive capabilities.

Off for a lie down, possibly preceded by a shot of the Pussers Rum that my daughter gave me.

Heigh ho.

xxx

[Fjgrogan]

Ah - now how did you manage to get hold of Pusser's Rum - I made the mistake of promising some to my 84 year old father (D-Day veteran) and then discovering that my local 'grog shop' not longer stocks it!

[lonelymom]

But, dear Neill, do you use every single utensil and pot in the kitchen every time you cook, and then refuse to wash up your mess? Oh, and when cooking something greasy, like a fried egg, do you transport egg to plate while still in frying pan, or do you lift egg onto slice while pan is still on cooktop, then transport egg to plate while dripping grease across kitchen floor?

AND do you insist on cooking because Mrs Neill (in your opinion) can't?

Mine does that! And then moans that the kitchen is a mess/the floor is slippery etc. MEN! But he did moan once to often that I couldn't cook, which is why it is now his job. Of course, I gave up the role with minimal persuasion

[icomefromalanddownunder]

Ah - now how did you manage to get hold of Pusser's Rum - I made the mistake of promising some to my 84 year old father (D-Day veteran) and then discovering that my local 'grog shop' not longer stocks it!

Jess bought it at a bottle shop in Deniliquin, NSW.

Guilt present. She visited The Virgin Islands in December. The company my father worked for used to supply the RN with rum. I requested a bottle in return for looking after the furries in her absence.

I believe that the contents of that bottle were drunk in Texas at Christmas .

Perhaps you could put in a request to Sir Richard for him to bring a bottle for you next time he visits from Necker?

xx

[englishangel]

I have never heard of it but apparently it is Henry Allingham's favourite tipple.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_a ... 439281.ece

[blondie95]

yes why do men have to use every utensil, pot and pan in the kitchen and why on earth can they not clear up as they go along! Oh and why stack everything in the sink when you just have to empty it again in order to fill it with water to wash????/

[midget]

Get a dishwasher (electrical, not human)

[lonelymom]

Got one of those, but my hubby STILL puts everything either in the sink, or on the worktop above the dishwasher! Useless!!

[englishangel]

MIne cooks very well and moans like billyo when the sons don't put things from the table in the dishwasher, but he never puts the cooking utensils in. It drives me bonkers finding the potato peeler slipped under the microwave towards the end of the wash cycle.